I Swear
by Cats070911
Summary: When Tommy's battery goes flat he and Barbara are stuck until morning on a cold, rainy night. As they shelter in his car and talk about the world both slowly begins to realise they are each other's world.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** all usual disclaimers apply.

* * *

"And how exactly is it my fault that you left the lights on?" she spat defiantly.

Tommy Lynley, the Met's finest detective, looked angrily at his partner. "Well Sergeant for a start you leapt out of the car to chase the suspect and almost swung the door off its hinges then you screamed like a banshee and I thought you being murdered. Lights were the last thing on my mind Havers."

Barbara looked at the ground then back at her boss. All her anger evaporated. She had seen how frightened he had been as he ran towards her along the narrow forest path and how relieved he had been to find she had simply fallen and sprained her wrist. "I'm sorry Sir. I should have waited. I missed him anyway."

Tommy was not really angry with her. He had reacted to the thought of losing her. He had become much more possessive and protective lately. It annoyed him that he was showing it so blatantly but if the price of keeping her safe was his embarrassment then it was worthwhile. "Yes, we're a team, or supposed to be. How can I protect you if you go haring off."

"Protect me? I don't need you to protect me. I'm hardly a china doll and you might be the Eighth Earl of Asherton and think you're some medieval knight but your armour needs a good polish!" Even in her renewed anger Barbara was just a little touched by his chivalry.

"My armour needs a polish?" Tommy bristled and stood back at his full height and tried not to laugh. His hair flopped over his left eye and he swept it back with a dramatic flourish. "That's rich given my partner has zero regard for her own safety. You must have Scottish ancestry the way you race into battle, screaming, brandishig nothing more than a club and a kilt. What's wrong with wanting to make sure you don't get us both killed?"

Barbara lost the battle to be serious. His petulance and hurt look was quite endearing. "Nothing. I'm glad you worry about me."

"Yes, well." Tommy could feel her eyes boring into him trying to understand what was changing between them. The last few weeks had been awkward for them. There usual banter and rapport had vanished beneath a heavy veil of nervous tension. Despite that, all Tommy wanted to do now was pull her into to arms and hold her tightly.

"It is," she said.

"What?"

"Mutual."

"What's mutual?" Now she was being cryptic.

"I worry about you too. Neither of us would forgive ourselves if something happened."

Tommy smiled at her. She was not the world's easiest woman but they understood each other like no other. Even so she could be an enigma. He took one step closer. "Then don't frighten me again."

Tommy was standing so close Barbara could have rested her face on his chest. She instantly dismissed the outlandish thought but could feel her face flushing. "So what are we going to do Detective Inspector?"

Her blush had not gone unnoticed and Tommy wondered if he enveloped her in a big hug whether she would hug him back or knee him somewhere painful. It was a bad enough day. He was not willing to gamble on an outcome he really could not predict. "Phone the motoring club for roadside assistance?"

"Go on then," she urged as she stepped back, "before night sets in and it gets cold."

Tommy wandered around the carpark trying to get a signal. He even walked up the small, bracken-covered hill without the faintest trace of connection to the outside world. "No luck I'm afraid," he said when he returned to the car, "we might be stuck until morning."

"The phone signal will mysteriously materialise in the morning?" she asked skeptically.

"No, but I can walk for help."

"So we're here for the night?"

"Unless by some miracle someone decides to drive down here, then yes, we are."

"Have you got any food?"

Tommy could not help but smile. "There's a block of chocolate in the glove box and a bottle of water. There's a tap over there to refill it. We'll survive."

"Great. I suppose it's dark chocolate too." Barbara preferred milk chocolate but her boss liked the darker, bitter ones.

Tommy dug it from his glovebox and tossed it to her. It was her favourite. He had bought it in case she became unbearably hungry during one of their many long drives to crime scenes.

"Oh," she said with a smile, "thank you Sir!"

"Half each. Don't you go sneaking in an extra row." He rustled in his boot and found a blanket that he kept as a picnic rug. "Here, you can sleep on the backseat under this."

"Where will you sleep?" She had a coat and he only had shirt sleeves to keep him warm.

"On the front seat I suppose."

"See you're doing it again Your Lordship. It makes no sense. You're taller and have no jacket. You should have the back seat and the rug. I can curl up on the front seats."

It was not an argument he was going to win. "We can decide at the time."

Barbara grunted. "I don't suppose you have a pack of cards?"

Tommy shook his head. He held up his first aid kit. "Let's have a look at your wrist."

Within the hour the sun had set and the temperature started to drop rapidly. They sat in the front seats nibbling at the chocolate and staring up at the stars. "You see a lot more away from the city," she remarked casually.

"Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven, Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels."

"That's nice. Shakespeare?"

"No Longfellow. It's from a poem, Evangeline."

"Ow!"

"What?"

"My wrist. I twisted it again."

"Eating chocolate?" He raised a cheeky eyebrow. "Show me."

Barbara gingerly extended her wrist and was surprised when Tommy took it and began to gently massage it. She groaned softly. He paused.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No, far from it, it feels good." Too good really. Barbara tried hard not to imagine his hands running over her body. She took a deep breath. Tonight was not the time to allow her fantasies to run free.

Tommy worked his hands over her wrists and up to her elbows then back. Her skin was velvety and soft. He tried to find something to distract him from the inappropriate thoughts he was having about his partner. "You know they say there are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on every beach in the world."

"Impossible to imagine. And most of them have planets. I can't get my head around it."

"No, the infinity of the universe! To think it all started with the Big Bang nearly fourteen billion years ago."

"Yeah, I can't see how all the universe fitted into such a small area then went boom. If it was dense and heavy and hot did it sit at the bottom of the universe and how long was it grouped together before that?"

"I don't really know but presumably it was at the centre and exploded all around," Tommy replied feeling slightly inadequate.

"So not one direction like a gunshot?"

"I don't know. I never studied cosmology but Einstein argued it's still expanding and apparently the bigger it gets the faster it grows."

"Into what?"

"Sorry?"

"Well if it's getting bigger then there must be room for it to grow so there must be something bigger than the universe or else the universe isn't full yet.

"Well the theory says it was not an explosion that moves to fill an empty universe. It's supposed to be an explosion of space so that over time the whole thing grows."

"But the void it grows into is there surely? So what if there's a superverse with multiple universes all growing?"

"That's a new theory. The Havers Theorem?"

"Well when I started school there were neutrons and electrons, now there's all sorts of sub-atomic particles, so maybe they just don't know yet."

It was hard to fault that logic. "It's possible," he conceded.

"Maybe they contract too, over time into that dense stuff, like those stars that collapse into black holes. So maybe the universe is fourteen billion years old this time but maybe it has had past lives."

"I think Stephen Hawking said even if that were true we would never be able to view it so it would be irrelevant."

"Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. It might not be relevant to us but whatever happened before still happened."

"True. This is a very philosophical conversation. Do you often contemplate these things when you look at the stars?"

"No," she replied, "usually I wonder how many planets out there have intelligent life on them or whether it's possible to travel in time. What about you?"

Tommy laughed loudly. "Much more mundane thoughts I'm afraid. I usually wonder who I know is looking up at them at the same time I am."

Barbara was not going to admit she often wondered if Tommy was looking stars or the moon at the same time as her. "Yeah, a connection thing. Draw a thread from your eyes to the stars and back to mine."

Tommy had indeed thought the same thing at times about Barbara. "Yes. It's often you," he conceded dreamily.

Barbara had been talking about this moment but clearly Tommy often thought of her. She was pleased but embarrassed and decided to change the subject. "Do you think they ever went to the moon or was it done in Hollywood?"

For the next two hours they debated alien life, conspiracy theories including who shot JFK, and the best ways to fix social problems like domestic violence. Lightening cracked in the skies behind them. "We had better prepare for the night before we get wet," Tommy said as he opened the car door. "You go left and I'll go right. Don't go too far though."

It took a few seconds for Barbara to understand his meaning. "Oh, yes, of course."

When she returned to the car Tommy was standing by the back door rubbing his arms. "It's colder than I thought. If the rain comes we'll freeze!"

"Don't be so melodramatic Sir. You have a blanket and I have my coat. Now get in."

Tommy settled across the rear seat and Barbara pushed back the passenger seat as far as it would go. "Do you have enough room for your feet?"

"Plenty thanks," he replied as he debated whether or not to keep his shoes on. In the end he slipped them off.

They said their goodnights then tried to sleep. Half an hour later he could tell from her breathing and lightly chattering teeth that she was still awake. "Are you awake?" he asked softly.

"I am now."

"Sorry. I thought..."

"I was awake. It's colder than I thought. There's ice on the windscreen and condensation on the inside that keeps running down onto my face."

"Maybe we should apply the principles of survival training?"

"Light a fire in your car?" she said smiling to herself as she waited for his reply.

"Haha Havers. Body heat. You should come back here and lie with me under your jacket and blanket."

Barbara thought back to her police training. The instructor had been very clear that being naked offered the best heat retention. "You mean...with no clothes on?"

Tommy smiled and laughed louder than he intended. That idea had some merit. "No, of course not! It's not that cold. But we would be warmer."

"Is there room?"

"Plenty. Don't open the door. Climb over the centre console."

Barbara removed her coat and handed it to Tommy then twisted around to manoeuvre between his seats. Her head bumped into his stomach and then as she pirouetted over the seat like a Russian gymnast she landed on top of him in a disorderly pile of arms and legs. "Sorry," she said as she tried to untangle herself, "that's harder than it looks."

The bruise on his ribs would heal but the pain where her knee had ground into his manhood was excruciating. He hoped she would not see the agony on his face. "Settle down and get some sleep," he ordered as she stretched out beside him.

Tommy was warm and Barbara nestled back into him. His arm pulled the coat and blanket over them then settled over her torso. She wiggled so that it lay away from anything they would find embarrassing. Her head tucked neatly under his chin and Barbara was happy. She could almost pretend this was snuggling together because they wanted to be together. She sighed contentedly.

"Warmer?"

"Much, thank you Sir."

"Comfy?"

"Very."

"Sleep well then."

"You too."

Barbara was soon breathing in the rhythm of deep sleep but Tommy was wide awake. The pain had gone but what replaced it disturbed him more. He felt happy, unreasonably happy. Cuddling Barbara close seemed entirely natural, as if it were something he did every night. What worried him was that he wished it was a nightly occurrence. He gave her a gentle squeeze. Her hand came up to his and rested gently on it.

"I love you Barbara." Tommy gasped at his own words. _Did I actually say that aloud?_

"I love you too," she muttered wearily, "now go to sleep Tommy."

Seconds later Barbara was snoring. He lay wondering if she had been awake and heard him or if she had been asleep. He pondered what her answer could mean. If she was awake then she probably did love him but if she was asleep then maybe it was an automatic response. Except that she had called him Tommy. So...maybe...yes, that probably meant she subconsciously loved him. She would never say she loved him when she was awake. No matter which way he thought about it he concluded that Barbara did indeed love him. He drifted into a peaceful sleep.

It was nearly three o'clock when the rain started. At first it was a light pitter-patter on the roof but within minutes sheets of water were pummelling the car. A slow rocking motion moved them side to side. When lightening struck a few miles off Barbara jolted awake. Tommy held her firmly. "Shhh, it's just a storm."

Barbara was very aware his presence. His arm was no longer across her waist but running between her breasts with his hand cradling her shoulder. Her hand was over it, holding it close. Their legs were wrapped around each other and their bodies were pressed firmly together. It took several seconds for her to realise this was not how they normally behaved.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing."

He rubbed her shoulder. "You've tensed up. Something's wrong."

"The storm."

"Oh, is that all. We're fine. I'm here. I'll always be here. Now go back to sleep."

Barbara felt constricted. "My arm's gone to sleep. Can we roll over?"

She hoped that would enable her to just lie next to him and calm down. Tommy though simply grunted and lifted her over him as he rolled. Now she was wedged between him and the seat back and his left arm assumed the same position vacated by the right.

"Thanks."

"Night," he murmured sleepily. Barbara rolled her eyes. There was no point in arguing, especially as she enjoyed having him so close. She decided to just give in and enjoy it.


	2. Chapter 2

Explaining to Winston why they were both climbing out of the back seat was much easier than she had expected. They had both been asleep when he knocked on the window and there was no denying they had been together. To her surprise he nodded, seemingly finding the body heat story perfectly plausible. He did not even wink at her suggestively.

What Barbara did not know was that Winston had watched them for a few minutes before he disturbed them. He had parked his car closer to the track then followed the tyre tracks up the muddy lane to the car park. The windows were steamy but the car was silent. He moved quietly so as not to frighten them. When he peered in the back he had smiled. The DI was on his back with his legs scrunched up against the door. Barbara was lying partly across him with her head on his chest and her arm reaching up and touching his face. The DI had his arms around her with his cheek resting on her head and his hand holding her head to him. They were both smiling but clearly asleep. If they had been naked they would have looked as if they had just made love. He hoped they had. They both deserved to find happiness and everyone had felt the tension between them ramping up over recent months. He had knocked very gently.

Tommy had been grateful Winston had tracked them down. He felt no embarrassment at being discovered as they had done nothing wrong. They had simply kept warm on a cold night and even if they had been intimate, they were hurting no one. He despatched Nkata to find a mechanic while he and Barbara waited. She seemed much more concerned. "You okay?" he asked as he brushed some hair from her face.

She shook him away. "Yes Sir, fine. It was...well...for Winston to find us like that."

He ignored the implication that it was embarrassing. "Yes, thank goodness. It would have been a long walk in the mud."

"No, I meant...him finding us...like that."

"We explained it. I don't see an issue. Far better than freezing to death."

"I suppose so," she replied brusquely. There was no point in debating it. She could hardly tell him the reason she was embarrassed was because she had enjoyed the night and her anger now was from knowing they would never be that close again.

Tommy did not share her pessimism and by contrast was in a buoyant mood. Last night was something he very much intended to replicate once he worked out a way to tell Barbara he loved her. He sensed now was not that time but he gave her a quick, reassuring hug. "I'll have a quiet word to him if you like. Reinforce how cold it was out here. He won't say anything to sully your reputation."

"I don't care about my reputation. Nothing happened. Nothing at all."

Tommy detected a hint of regret. He wanted to tell her nothing had happened only because he did not want her to feel he was being opportunistic. He had fought hard not to step over that line. It would have been easy to kiss her or to let his hand begin to caress her as it had ached to do. He had been pleased with his self-control, made much easier by her muttered confession of love. They had time to let things happen naturally. "As if I'd take advantage Sergeant!"

The rest of the day had passed slowly. Tommy had waited for the mechanic while Barbara had returned to the station with Winston to interview the suspect who had been apprehended on the other side of the woods by an alert local constable. When Tommy reached the office Barbara had left for the crime scene. He filled in the reports and waited for her to return but after pacing his office practicing his speech he discovered Winston had dropped her at her flat.

It was after eight o'clock before a disgruntled Tommy arrived home. He poured himself a large whiskey then stood by the window sipping it as he looked out at the rain. The streetlight pooled in orange circles, mottled by the heavier drops of water that fell from the pole. He wondered if Barbara had a theorem for rain or if perhaps she believed rain was only a conspiracy theory. He knew he was brooding but he needed to know why Barbara had avoided him. It had hurt. Surely she knew last night meant more than just staying warm? He glanced up. There were no stars but the moon, which had been hidden, was just poking through the cloud. in his heart he knew Barbara was watching it and thinking of him. It made his decision easy.

Barbara was looking at the moon and thinking of her boss. She could still feel his arms around her and smell his woody aftershave. She had avoided going back to the office to see Tommy fearing it might be too awkward. Tomorrow after they had both slept in their own beds it would be fine but today she did not trust herself not to say something foolish. She heated her frozen meal and sat down to watch the news. She picked forlornly at the soggy mess they called Shepherd's Pie and wished she was at the pub with Tommy.

He straightened his coat before he rang the doorbell. He had showered and shaved and put on comfortable jeans and a blue shirt under his grey jacket. The cab had dropped him at the corner so she would not see him arrive and he had secreted his overnight bag behind the flowerpot on her porch. His broad plan was dinner first and then see what happened. To arrive bag in hand was presumptuous.

"Sir!" Even though she knew who would be at her door Barbara was surprised when she looked at Tommy. He looked refreshed and rather snappy as if he had dressed up just to see her. She instantly felt frowzy in her old tracksuit pants and over-sized tee-shirt. She could not see his car anywhere in the street.

"Hi," he said as he started the line he had rehearsed in his head, "I missed you at the station. I wondered if you wanted to go for dinner?"

Barbara held up the fork in her hand. "I've just finished."

"Oh." His plan was tumbling down around his ears.

"But if you'll wait while I change I'd love a pint." Internally Barbara was doing little leaps of joy to see him despite her misgivings. She told herself she just had to act normally and ignore what had happened in the car.

"Of course," he said following her inside.

"Did you catch a cab?"

"Yes. I'd started drinking, then thought we should be have dinner." It was the truth but not truthful. Barbara seemed to accept that without question and seemed pleased to see him. That was good but also confusing. "Why didn't you come back to the office?"

"Ah," she looked down. "Winston offered to drop me here and I thought maybe we needed time."

"For what?"

Barbara looked around the room nervously. "I dunno. Recover? I thought I was tired and wanted an early night but now I'm home I'm wide awake." She smiled at him. "And thirsty."

"Well you'd better get changed."

Barbara found herself pulling her best jeans and a black shirt from her wardrobe. They were not clothes she wore to work which might give Tommy a hint that she considered this more than a drink with a colleague. Then she hesitated. It might give him the wrong impression. She rummaged for a pair of work trousers.

"Are you okay?"

Barbara cursed under her breath. "Yeah fine, I'm...just looking for something clean." She heard him laugh knowingly. It sounded slovenly but gave her the chance to wear her first outfit.

Tommy was smiling but when she returned his eyes grew wide. Curves that usually were disguised under her clothes were handsomely displayed and quite captivating. He sensed she was nervous and as the Dutch courage of his whiskey was wearing off he was becoming increasingly apprehensive too. This could go horribly wrong. "Ready?"

"Yep."

Tommy hoped she did not notice his bag as they left. He felt silly. He had assumed they would have a few pints, somehow declare their feelings and he would spend the night. After last night he could not imagine sleeping without her in his arms but now he was here it seemed unlikely either of them would make the first move.

They chatted about the case as they walked to her local. It was a safe conversation and one that helped them both relax a little. Barbara told him about the interview and how the man had confessed to the attack on all three women. "Pussycat really. All mouth and trousers. He thought he was a ladies' man but he had no idea what women want from a man."

"And what do women want?"

Barbara blushed and looked away. "I don't know. I'm hardly an expert but certainly not someone who beats them up when they won't go out with him."

"Granted, but I think you know what you want Barbara. Don't you?"

They had arrived at the pub door and Barbara was glad of its sanctuary as she slipped past Tommy as he held the door open. "Yes, a pint but maybe something stronger."

He smirked as he suppressed a grin. "Allow me to make up your mind then."

Tommy walked to the bar and ordered while Barbara found a quiet table near the back away from the band that sounded more like a boy band than a rock group. He returned with two pints of a golden brew with a frothy white head. "Innis & Gunn Highland Ale, a rich Scotch ale matured over oak chips and infused with a fine highland scotch whisky. That should do the trick."

"Cheers!" she responded as they clinked glasses and tasted it. "Oh it's smooth. Sort of like buttery toffee, vanilla, and oak with a hint of whiskey."

"You make it sound like a wine."

"Just because wine snobs or whiskey swillers think their drink is fancy doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good beer for its taste."

"A point well made. I've been thinking about what you said about the universe. I think we can let it get too big and then it becomes frightening. We need to focus more on what we can understand. Like the moon and the stars we see."

Barbara frowned at him suspiciously. This was some sort of analogy but she was not quite sure where he was headed. "Hmm, I understand the moon, and the stars," she answered cautiously.

"Good."

 _Good? What does that mean?_ "Do you?"

"Of course. Would you like another one?"

"Yes."

Tommy returned with two more ales. He had been gone a while and when she had lost sight of him she had felt a surge of panic. He sat close to her and extended his arm around her chair. Barbara felt excited and scared in equal measure. She was having trouble disguising her desire. "How much alcohol in these?"

"About 8% I think."

"No wonder I feel a bit light-headed after only one."

"That's just the nearness of me."

"You wish!"

"Yes, I do." Barbara stopped and stared at him. "Shh, just stop and listen."

"To what?"

"Just listen."

The boy band returned from a set break and began to sing.

 _*I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky_

 _And I swear like the shadow that's by your side_

 _I see the questions in your eyes_

 _I know what's weighing on your mind_

 _You can be sure I know my part_

 _'cause I stand beside you through the years_

 _You'll only cry those happy tears_

 _And though I make mistakes_

 _I'll never break your heart_

Barbara sat dumbfounded. Tommy's arm was now around her waist. She looked up at him and he was smiling at her - that big, soft grin that for the first time she recognized as being full of love.

 _And I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky I'll be there_

 _I swear like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there_

 _For better or worse till death do us part_

 _I'll love you with every beat of my heart_

 _And I swear_

Tommy nodded and reached up with his hand to wipe away the tears that were rolling down her face.

 _And I swear (I swear) by the moon and the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)_

"I will be Barbara."

 _I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there (I'll be there)_

"But…"

 _For better or worse_

"No, no but. I love you." This time he kissed her. It was just a gentle gesture but they both groaned with the recognition that this was something they had both wanted for a long time.

 _Till death do us part_

"I'll love you with every beat of my heart," Barbara sang softly into his ear.

Tommy's restraint from last night vanished. "Let's go somewhere more private."

"Yes," she whispered as he kissed her again, a little more urgently.

He held her hand as they walked silently back to her flat. When he stooped and picked up his bag as she opened the door she looked over and laughed. "I hope that contains everything you need."

As she closed the door behind them Tommy dropped his bag and grabbed Barbara. He pushed her against the door and began to kiss her passionately. "I only need you."

"Really?"

"I swear." They laughed with the relaxed affinity of lovers as she led him towards her bedroom.

* * *

*All 4 One , _I Swear_ , 1994


End file.
